familia infimus or "How we almost beat up the guy we used to call dad", part 1
So last weekend I get a call from my pregnant sister down in Houston. It seemed my mom and dad had been pushing her buttons again, and this time, they pushed too hard.
My sister and her husband's situation is probably typical for anyone who marries young and has children early. That is to say they are a struggling new family which needs all the help it can get from family or friends. My parents live not four miles from sister, her husband and their year old grandson; my dad is a NASA engineer making more than $100,000 a year and my mother hasn't known a paying job in over ten years. When sister got married, my parents made all kinds of promises concerning the baby, who at that time was the only child in the picture, and gave them a 1999 Toyota Corolla. I say "gave", however in actuallity, no title was signed over and it turns out that this was the same car my sister was "given" for graduating high school just a few years ago. But when one is struggling to make ends meet with a baby on the way, one tends to overlook little facts like these initially.
My sister works as a store manager in a small picture framing buisness near downtown Houston. Anyone who has ever been to Houston knows that downtown is a rough place to work, drive in, drive to, and get out of- not to mention that downtown is a nearly twenty-three mile trip oneway. But that's where the work is and so she goes. My brother-in-law works construction out in Baytown, in the exact opposite direction of his wife's work. My happy little nephew needs to be watched three days a week, which my mother gladly offered to do at first. This was an opportunity to be with her only grandson (so far) and gave her something productive to do with her day. Otherwise she'd do as she normally does: sleep the morning away, watch afternoon TV, and eat. And eat. Occationally mom would buy her little grandson baby supplies such as pacifiers, toys or bottles which seemed to be no problem at the time. Afterall, mom and dad had promised to help out with the child in anyway they could, and for two people living the way they do on the money they have, a few bottles here and there was nothing. But then something changed...
Apparently tensions arrose when mom called sister at work to inform her that my nephew's first word was "Nanna", a moniker mother hi-jacked from my sister-in-law Lindsey's mother. Up until a year ago, "ma-ma" was what she preferred to be called by all her future grandchildren; I don't know what changed her mind. Then there were the arguments about how sister was holding the baby wrong or not letting him sleep properly or feeding him too much/too little. As a result of the bad feelings, mom started making sister pay for both hers and sister's cell phones since that last contract signed was in sister's name. On top of that, mom had access to sister's bank account and had started going in and taking money for supplies that she'd buy my nephew, without my sister's consent, then hide the supplies from her!! Of course my sister exploded over these things and called me to vent. She and I would talk about how to smooth things over with mom and dad. Afterall, good childcare is expensive and the help that had been promised as a wedding gift was hard to give up, regardless of the grief.
Okay, so there's a little background with many of the smaller details ommitted. Fastforward to three weeks ago: Sister calls me yet again, crying about how mom was going to get rid of the cat my sister has owned for the last six years and was told could stay at mom and dad's until a pet deposit could be paid to sister's landlord. Mom, having had access to sister's bank accounts, came to the conclusion that sister had had more than enough time to pay a deposit and was told to come get the cat or it was going to the pound. Now, understand that mom and dad live in a two-story, four bedroom, two and half bath house with only a chihuahua and the cat to share with. And my sister's husband is allergic to cats. There was really no need for urgency here concerning the cat, why was it there anyway? I told sister that even though mom and dad really shouldn't press the issue the way they were with her, it was their house and if they wanted the cat gone, then the cat had to go. She told me that she'd already considered that and bought time for the poor animal by promising to have a home found for the cat soon. Mom and dad agreed, but it still upset my very pregnant sister.
Fastforward to last weekend, July 31st: Sister calls me from her work, crying again. Now mom and dad are demanding $50 a week to watch their grandson and her husband had to come get the cat that very morning, or else. She sent her husband over there and my mom and dad wouldn't answer the door. They later told sister they'd stepped out to the hardware store, but they only have one car; it was parked in the driveway. My brother-in-law goes back over there a little while later and is admittedly short with my mom over the whole ordeal. The cat sensed it was headed for certain doom, and clawed and scratched every surface it could in an attempt to get away, including my allergetic brother-in-law. He gets the cat back home and tells my sister that he's going to sit out in front of the SPCA all day trying to find someone who'd take the cat if that meant my sister's nerves would be spared a little. While that was going on, she was BACK on the phone with me, just trying to vent and told me about the stomache problems and possible bleeding ulcer she'd been diagnosed with in the past month. Work, pregnancy, and family life was hurting her and my unborn niece. I calm her down, end the call and go on cleaning the house. She gets a call from dad just as she hangs up with me.
"Since you didn't try hard enough to find that cat a home, you're going to be punished! Let's see, what will fit the crime here? Oh, I know! We're taking back your car. When you get home, lock your keys inside and we'll pick it up later." My sister told me that's what he said, and since I've heard him say things like this before with my own ears, I'd say it's a pretty good quote.
Sister tells her husband, of course, and he heads back over to mom and dad's with the intent of straightening things out, man to man, with dad. This fails. Meanwhile, she's yet again on the phone with me. This time I'm pretty pissed off. I hang up, call my brother Charles who had been in Houston visiting his in-laws, but was an hour north of the city on his way back here. He hears what I tell him, including dad's little threat, and he goes nuts. He hangs up, calls my brother Jason in San Antonio. Jason goes nuts. Charles turns his truck around and heads for San Antonio while my sister-in-law Lindsey calls to tell her parents what'd happened.
I get a call at 3:15 pm from Charles. "Hey man, I need you to see what flight you can get from there to Houston on Southwest. Lindsey's mom will pick you up. I'm headed to pick up Jason." I comply, and find a flight leaving at 6:15 pm. Buying a oneway ticket at the last minute got me flagged with the TSA, but I didn't mind. The business with my parents was another story. I knew that if Charles was bringing Jason into town, then this was going to get messy, bloody messy... (to be continued)
My sister and her husband's situation is probably typical for anyone who marries young and has children early. That is to say they are a struggling new family which needs all the help it can get from family or friends. My parents live not four miles from sister, her husband and their year old grandson; my dad is a NASA engineer making more than $100,000 a year and my mother hasn't known a paying job in over ten years. When sister got married, my parents made all kinds of promises concerning the baby, who at that time was the only child in the picture, and gave them a 1999 Toyota Corolla. I say "gave", however in actuallity, no title was signed over and it turns out that this was the same car my sister was "given" for graduating high school just a few years ago. But when one is struggling to make ends meet with a baby on the way, one tends to overlook little facts like these initially.
My sister works as a store manager in a small picture framing buisness near downtown Houston. Anyone who has ever been to Houston knows that downtown is a rough place to work, drive in, drive to, and get out of- not to mention that downtown is a nearly twenty-three mile trip oneway. But that's where the work is and so she goes. My brother-in-law works construction out in Baytown, in the exact opposite direction of his wife's work. My happy little nephew needs to be watched three days a week, which my mother gladly offered to do at first. This was an opportunity to be with her only grandson (so far) and gave her something productive to do with her day. Otherwise she'd do as she normally does: sleep the morning away, watch afternoon TV, and eat. And eat. Occationally mom would buy her little grandson baby supplies such as pacifiers, toys or bottles which seemed to be no problem at the time. Afterall, mom and dad had promised to help out with the child in anyway they could, and for two people living the way they do on the money they have, a few bottles here and there was nothing. But then something changed...
Apparently tensions arrose when mom called sister at work to inform her that my nephew's first word was "Nanna", a moniker mother hi-jacked from my sister-in-law Lindsey's mother. Up until a year ago, "ma-ma" was what she preferred to be called by all her future grandchildren; I don't know what changed her mind. Then there were the arguments about how sister was holding the baby wrong or not letting him sleep properly or feeding him too much/too little. As a result of the bad feelings, mom started making sister pay for both hers and sister's cell phones since that last contract signed was in sister's name. On top of that, mom had access to sister's bank account and had started going in and taking money for supplies that she'd buy my nephew, without my sister's consent, then hide the supplies from her!! Of course my sister exploded over these things and called me to vent. She and I would talk about how to smooth things over with mom and dad. Afterall, good childcare is expensive and the help that had been promised as a wedding gift was hard to give up, regardless of the grief.
Okay, so there's a little background with many of the smaller details ommitted. Fastforward to three weeks ago: Sister calls me yet again, crying about how mom was going to get rid of the cat my sister has owned for the last six years and was told could stay at mom and dad's until a pet deposit could be paid to sister's landlord. Mom, having had access to sister's bank accounts, came to the conclusion that sister had had more than enough time to pay a deposit and was told to come get the cat or it was going to the pound. Now, understand that mom and dad live in a two-story, four bedroom, two and half bath house with only a chihuahua and the cat to share with. And my sister's husband is allergic to cats. There was really no need for urgency here concerning the cat, why was it there anyway? I told sister that even though mom and dad really shouldn't press the issue the way they were with her, it was their house and if they wanted the cat gone, then the cat had to go. She told me that she'd already considered that and bought time for the poor animal by promising to have a home found for the cat soon. Mom and dad agreed, but it still upset my very pregnant sister.
Fastforward to last weekend, July 31st: Sister calls me from her work, crying again. Now mom and dad are demanding $50 a week to watch their grandson and her husband had to come get the cat that very morning, or else. She sent her husband over there and my mom and dad wouldn't answer the door. They later told sister they'd stepped out to the hardware store, but they only have one car; it was parked in the driveway. My brother-in-law goes back over there a little while later and is admittedly short with my mom over the whole ordeal. The cat sensed it was headed for certain doom, and clawed and scratched every surface it could in an attempt to get away, including my allergetic brother-in-law. He gets the cat back home and tells my sister that he's going to sit out in front of the SPCA all day trying to find someone who'd take the cat if that meant my sister's nerves would be spared a little. While that was going on, she was BACK on the phone with me, just trying to vent and told me about the stomache problems and possible bleeding ulcer she'd been diagnosed with in the past month. Work, pregnancy, and family life was hurting her and my unborn niece. I calm her down, end the call and go on cleaning the house. She gets a call from dad just as she hangs up with me.
"Since you didn't try hard enough to find that cat a home, you're going to be punished! Let's see, what will fit the crime here? Oh, I know! We're taking back your car. When you get home, lock your keys inside and we'll pick it up later." My sister told me that's what he said, and since I've heard him say things like this before with my own ears, I'd say it's a pretty good quote.
Sister tells her husband, of course, and he heads back over to mom and dad's with the intent of straightening things out, man to man, with dad. This fails. Meanwhile, she's yet again on the phone with me. This time I'm pretty pissed off. I hang up, call my brother Charles who had been in Houston visiting his in-laws, but was an hour north of the city on his way back here. He hears what I tell him, including dad's little threat, and he goes nuts. He hangs up, calls my brother Jason in San Antonio. Jason goes nuts. Charles turns his truck around and heads for San Antonio while my sister-in-law Lindsey calls to tell her parents what'd happened.
I get a call at 3:15 pm from Charles. "Hey man, I need you to see what flight you can get from there to Houston on Southwest. Lindsey's mom will pick you up. I'm headed to pick up Jason." I comply, and find a flight leaving at 6:15 pm. Buying a oneway ticket at the last minute got me flagged with the TSA, but I didn't mind. The business with my parents was another story. I knew that if Charles was bringing Jason into town, then this was going to get messy, bloody messy... (to be continued)
posted by BigDan67 | 8:44 PM
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