My Damned Pride

So I get passed over for a promotion at work. Actually, this would have been more a lateral move with full time health benefits. It would have been nice to get dental; I haven't been in a dentist's chair in ten years easily. Is that normal...? No, it never feels good to be passed over for anything, but in truth I didn't want the job all that much in the first place. When asked in the interview what I saw my future as, I readily explained that while working for Kohl's has been great, retail isn't my future and when I graduate in May (Lord willing!) I'll more than likely head back to Texas for a master's degree in education, poli. sci., or history. I even worked into another answer that while I'm the kind of guy who likes being in charge when there's a need to be met, I don't mind standing aside and letting someone else take a shot at leading if that person really wants to. In other words folks, I took a dive without burning any bridges. I knew that if I'd told them I only wanted the postition so I could get my teeth cleaned for cheap, that might not have been recieved too well. The truth isn't what these people look for in the panel interview situation; only slick packaged answers that sound good for the moment and look good on paper.

Naturally, when the call came Tuesday afternoon, I wasn't all that surprised to hear the job was going to someone else. The why it went to someone else, however, set my ears to ringing. According to our main store manager, had this opening come up two months ago, I would have been his first choice "hands-down". But lately he feels my work has been suffering a bit, "Maybe it's school or something in your personal life- I don't know but it's something you need to work on." The urge to verbally rape the guy right then and there on the phone was strong. NO ONE MENTIONED A LACK OF PERFORMANCE IN MY ANNUAL REVIEW JUST THREE WEEKS PRIOR!! No one complained while I pulled double duty in other departments and still managed to get my other responsibilites done on time!! No one said anything when I carried all the heavy, marked-down stoneware dish sets (which don't fall under my department) down from the upper stock room! AND EVERYONE THOUGHT IT WAS SO FUNNY WHEN I SHOWED UP TO THE INTERVIEW DRENCHED IN SWEAT FROM ALL THE RUNNING AROUND I'D DONE DURING MY SHIFT!!! My mind was racing, eyes bulging, yet somehow I held my tongue- call it Devine Intervention.

The call ended in a strained cordialness. I spent the rest of the day brooding with a little sulking thrown in for good measure. Even now I can't quite figure out which bothers me more: 1) That I was passed over reasons other than the ones I'd designed or 2) That the reasons for which I was passed over are baseless, sensless and certainly undocumented. Folks, when I get a well qualified criticism about my work, I take the right steps to address the concerns raised in the critique right away. When I get an off the cuff remark thrown my way from someone who should know better than to do something like that, I meltdown. The next day at work I typed up a letter of resignation from my current title of Table and Tower supervisor and requested a less involved job. If the full-time effort I've been giving for part-time pay and benefits isn't good enough, then someone else can have the job. The extra dollar an hour won't be missed that much!

I've said it before ladies and gentlemen, and it needs repeating: Retail sucks.